Until You
by dreamer6
Summary: A rewrite of the December 7th scenes between Sonny and Alexis


Until You 

"Tonight," he whispered, "is yours. You can do whatever you want with it. Say whatever you want. Don't censer yourself around me." 

Alexis pulled away from him, stumbling slightly before sitting on the edge of the fountain. Pushing her hair away from her face nervously, she sighed at the strange look that had crossed his features. Why did Sonny Corinthos have to be so damn charming? Furthermore, why did she have to feel like this? "I was fine until you grabbed me." 

"What?" Sonny cocked his head, trying to get a better look at her, searching for a way into her mind. 

"I was fine until you grabbed me," she repeated. "You grabbed my wrist, and that just threw me off balance. I told you I have perfect balance, or… rather I did until you grabbed me and threw it." Alexis bit down on her bottom lip and diverted her eyes from him as she took a deep breath. 

He took a step forward, a feeling seemed to draw him to her, pull him closer and closer to her every time they were together. "Alexis," he whispered again. "Would you look at me please?" When her eyes met his again, a smile formed without his permission. "I'm sorry for making you fall." 

"I guess you made up for it by catching me." Her eyes darted away from his again, looking out at the stars for just a moment before meeting his gaze again. And for some reason, she found herself staring. "I had no intention of falling. It's all your fault. I just thought you should know that. But you're forgiven." It was her turn to smile, her dimples introducing themselves to the night shyly. Planting her hands firmly on either side of her, she clutched the cement as if it could save her from everything that was threatening to overwhelm her, starting with the man that was slowly making his way to stand directly in front of her. 

"Alexis," Sonny murmured. "I'll always catch you. Even if, you know, you have no intention of falling. I'll still catch you if… if you need to be caught." 

"I can't ask you to be my safety net, Sonny," she murmured in kind. "And I won't. I don't want you to be. I'm not the kind of woman that needs a man around to clean up her messes. I can pick myself up when I fall, I've been doing it since I was a child, and I have no reason to suddenly expect you to start following me around with open arms just in case I happen to stumble." Alexis shook her head firmly, willing a sudden urge to cry away before her eyes could fill. "The knight in shining armor routine is sweet, it really is, but save it for your wife." 

"You see, the thing is, I'm not giving you the chance to ask me. It's not your choice, Alexis. It's just that… You know what? You're the only one that really saw that what Carly did to me tore out my heart. You… You've been there for me, you've picked me up and dusted me off for how long now? It's… I just want to be there for you too, Alexis. That's not a crime, and it doesn't make you weak. It's what friends do." 

Sonny sighed when she didn't so much as glance in his direction and took the final step that closed off the distance between them. His knee hit hers as he put his palm on her cheek and brought her face back to his. "Tell me, Consular, is it illegal to want to be half as good of a friend to you and you are and have been to me?" 

"Sonny, you've listened to me go on and on about anything and everything. You didn't fire me when it became dangerous to your case to have me as your attorney because I was a pinup girl. You let me rant about Ned and my wedding. You put up with my neurotic tendencies, rants, panic attacks, and the fact that I… I tend to call you a common criminal whenever I get the opportunity. I attack your morals, your code, and from time to time _you_. As I'm sure you remember considering the fact that I slapped you when I realized you lied to me about Zander even though you pretty much just let it slide… Which you shouldn't have done by the way, it was awful of me to do, and I can't apologize enough for-" 

"Would… Would you breathe? Please?" His hand dropped from her face, but for some reason, he was unwilling to lose all contact between them. So he returned his hand to her cheek, sliding it down slowly to her shoulder, then down her arm to take her hand in his. "None of that matters. You… You don't mean it, I know that you don't." His dimples peeked out at her again when he paused. "It's an excuse, Alexis, you've probably got a million more in your head. They're all just excuses as to why you shouldn't like me." 

"That's true," Alexis nodded, squeezing his hand lightly. "But then you've blown most of them away. You're nothing like I expected you to be." 

"What did you expect me to be?" 

"Cold, heartless, unfeeling. I expected you to be slimly, and… and a sexist pig that used women for his own good and took pleasure in harming them. You were supposed to be a man without morals, or a code, or a care in the world for all the lives he's ruined. You were supposed to enjoy the fact that you were wallowing in money and power while the people on the streets that you had hooked on drugs were aching for their next hit and the girls in your club where so scared of you that they had no choice but to get up and dance." She tilted her head back to get a better look at him. "Why couldn't you have been like that?" 

"You want me to be like that?" 

Alexis shook her head slightly at his confused expression. "Yes. No." She sighed. "You're the head of the mob, Sonny! You aren't supposed to be this sweet, charming, caring man that feels things so deeply. You… I don't want you to be another survivor, Sonny. It's… It scares me how… amazingly well you understand me and can see through me no matter how great my act of being fine may be. I wish that I didn't know you were so… wonderful. Maybe if you weren't, if you weren't such a good friend, and if you didn't go out of your way to make sure the people around you are happy and protected… Maybe I wouldn't be here then." 

"I… I'm sorry you missed Nikolas' engagement party. If… You know, we can leave first thing tomorrow morning if you really don't want to be here, or you can, I'll handle everything else, it's just contract signing. I'm not going to force you to stay, and I'm sorry that I made you come since you don't want to be here. It… You were just kidnapped, and-" 

"Breathe," she teased lightly, smiling up at him. "I didn't mean literally. I… It's beautiful in this place, Sonny. I'm even glad you forcefully pulled me away from my law books. It's kind of fun. In fact, thank you. For bringing me here, and for everything else. You've been the best friend I've ever had lately, and… I needed a friend more than anything, so thank you." 

Sonny nodded his head slowly. "I did what any friend would do. I just listened to you." He tilted his head again, and the hand that wasn't holding hers brushed her hair out of her eyes with a feather light touch. "Did you know that you say more when you don't talk than when you do? The way you stand, or sit, or even the way that you look at someone. You're eyes say so much, Alexis." 

And the only thought she could decipher in the jumble of her mind was she hoped they weren't saying everything right now. Just to be safe her eyes settled somewhere over his shoulder. "The same could be said for you. Not that anyone else would notice." 

"Maybe it just takes another survivor to read the marks." 

Her smile was quick, shy. "Yeah, maybe." 

"Thank you, Alexis." 

Alexis moved her gaze to meet his in question. "For what?" 

"Giving me a chance to be your friend. For being _my_ friend. I don't have a lot of those you know." 

"Neither do I. Alone is safe." 

"Alone is lonely." 

"Carly is only a phone call away. You know that as well as I do." Her eyes lowed for a moment to their joined hands. "I may not be her biggest fan, but I know that she loves, and despite all her faults, she makes you happy. All she wants is-" 

"Everything." Sonny shrugged his shoulders. "All she wants is everything. She wants me to tell her things I can't, she wants me to be who I'm not, she wants me to give up everything that makes me who I am. She… She doesn't know me at all, Alexis. She actually thought I'd name names. She wants the money, the power, and the respect without the danger, and I… I can't give her that. I can't trust her after everything she's done to me, she… she asked me to trust her then she turned me into the FBI." He sat down beside her, his thigh touching hers, and his hand not letting go. "I wanted her to make me happy, Alexis. But Carly just makes me miserable." 

"I understand?" she said searching for the right words, turning her head to again meet his dark eyes. "Ned was supposed to know me so well, but he didn't. He just knew who he wanted me to be. I… I know I don't make things easy, trust me I know that. But he wanted be able to control me. It… It wasn't just my overactive imagination and my instinct to run in the opposite direction of love and marriage because it's so… binding. He wanted to be able to show me off to his family as a respectable attorney, but then he wanted me to cancel meetings, court dates, and anything else just to meet him whenever he called to surprise me. He… Ned thought he could tell me how I felt, even when I didn't know for sure. He wanted to direct who my friends and clients were, who I spent time with, who I cared about…" 

"He was wrong for you, Alexis. You're… You always want to be in control-" 

"So do you." 

Sonny held up his other hand, pointing at her. "That's true." He sat his hand back down on her knee, oblivious to the way she had to fight jumping at the touch. "You… There has to be someone out there in the world more right for you than him. And… Yeah, the same could probably be said for me and Carly." 

"I guess sometimes everything gets turned upside down. Sometimes, right is really wrong, and sometimes wrong is so right." She blinked at her words, forcing herself to continue before she could dwell on the idea. "Ned was supposed to be right for me. He just wanted me to sacrifice too much of myself for my liking. Not that there is anything wrong with that really, I just… Maybe I'm the one that wasn't right. Maybe he was perfect for me, but I wasn't right for him. Maybe if I had just bent a little more to not leave in the middle of dinner so often or…" 

"We've already established that I've made your life more difficult." 

"You saved my life, Sonny. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. You put yourself between me and gunmen, that… Ned should have let that count for something too. I know it meant a lot to me, the fact that you almost died saving me. Anyway, I prefer to think of it as you making my life more challenging. And that's not a bad thing." 

It was his turn to look away. "The bullets were meant for me, Alexis." 

"No, the bullets were meant for Zander. And you had nothing to do with me defending him. I did that for Emily and for him." 

"Don't paint me out to be a hero, Alexis. I'm not. I just…" He sighed, looking into her eyes again sadly. "I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you because of me. I… You're my best friend too, and you've been through enough in the last year. You don't need the dangers that come with being close to me on top of that, you do know that right?" 

"I'll tell you the same thing I told Ned, I've been in danger my whole life because of who my father was. Helena has been after me since the day I was born, and considering the fact that she killed my mother I would think that was more dangerous than being your attorney and your friend." 

He released her to stand. "Maybe, but you've never been shot at because of Helena…" 

"Chloe was run over because Helena thought she was me. She's tried to kill me more than once, Sonny. And I didn't always have someone there willing to put their life on the line for mine." 

"I'd do it again." 

Alexis tilted her head back again, looked up at him and smiled. "I know. I may be the only one, but I get that about you. Despite the fact that you're the head of the Port Charles mob, and that whole sexist pig thing wasn't entirely untrue, you are a good person. A very good person even. You've been through a lot in your life, and I'm actually… honored that you're my friend." 

"Yeah?" He smiled. "Back at ya." Sonny held out his hand for her to take. "Dance with me." 

"Is that an order?" she smiled back. 

"Absolutely not. Will you please dance with me again, Alexis?" 

"Well since you asked so nicely." Alexis reached up and took her hand, being pulled up before she had a chance to try and stand herself. The soft, slow music drifted from the open doors of the casino and onto the otherwise empty balcony. They found their rhythm easily. Without her shoes on, she had to look up at him. "Can I ask you a question?" 

"Sure." 

"Why did you tell me about why you hate snow? Your childhood sounds painful to talk about." 

"You asked," he replied smoothly, pulling her hand that he held within his closer to his chest. "And you understand." 

"Yeah, I understand." Alexis smiled again, her eyes darting off to the stars. "Do you think the view is worth what you paid for it?" 

His smile was sweet, almost innocent even as he gazed at her, his eyes never wavering. "I'm still trying to figure that out. Sometimes, I think it might be." 

Alexis nodded, content with that answer. Then she realized they'd stopped moving, but he made no move to remove his arm from around her waist or release her hand, so she stayed in place. "Sonny? I really wasn't fine until you grabbed me. I just thought I was." 

  
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